Stuck on u

i checked ma watch again...3.30 pm...m waiting for past one and half hour...and still no sign of her...i had tried calling her n also texted her but her cell was unreachable...damn...i was so sick of her "excuses" ...and now i vl have to listen to some more of them...i decided in ma mind...that this is too much now...i have every right to get angry on her...i have every right to shout at her...enuf is enuf..i vl do it today...i was building up ma so called “courage” but i was disturbed..
“sir we are closing d kitchen now” waiter said
“ohh...just wait for 5 more minz...i vl order “.. i replied in somewhat mortifying tone..
He just gave me another of those disgruntled look..probably he was expecting something different from me...
I remember how he had wishd me and guided me towards the table i had reserved with that happydent smile...now it was as if every1 was looking towards me as if i had commited a big crime...
(n another big agony that i cant order even...cuz madam always has her own choices and that too her choices differ everytym...and to be frank everytym she is d 1 who orders...so i wudnt dare to break that so called “tradition”..)

C’mon...wat can i do if ma gal promises me to arrive half n hour before our fixed tym...n yet havnt arrived 1 and half___________ *ma thots were broken midway thru as i saw some1 entering thru d restaurant door*

There she is...i said in ma mind (anger still in ma eyes)...ohh hold on...was she wearing that yellow chudidaar..yes she was wearing that same yellow churidaar which i had gifted her on her bday...n those necklace and earings...and ofcuz those matching bangles,..m sure she must have returned from some party/function...she caught ma glance and i responded by waving ma hand... she responded with a flying kiss

God..i have to admit 25% stake in that so called anger on her instantly vanished as a result of her “bold and beautiful” look/entry

She came and sat, i was still in the mist of that remaing 75% anger on her...
“so...hw u sweety..?? she asked in her sweet voice..she was unperturbed as if everything was going perfect
“where the hell were u???.. U are 1 hour 40 minz late” i bursted ...simultaneously pointing towards my watch (as to add some extra effect to ma statement)
She kept quiet for a while and then replied with that sweet convincing tone of her
“listen i was busy baby...u know today our CR elections were held and jyotika won...so she threw a party..and u know na ma presence was “inevitable”..”
“inevitable ha...nice...and wat bout ur presence with me...and wt bout ur phone..???”
“ok ok ...i said sorry na...and my phone is weird”
“wt???...ur phone is weird..???....c’mon thats d kinda answer u give...no this isn’t fair...i want proper xplaination..” ...yes i was going rite...i was bout to succeed in ma mission but then something weird hapend..

She said ok she vl xplain but slowly in ma ears....i tilted ma head and went closer...and she did the most unexpected thing....she came closer turned ma head back straight...and planted a kiss on ma lips....i cant literally write how it felt and stuff...cuz that tym ma brain died cuz of heart attack

But my heart described it later...and these are those words straight from my heart

“I am convinced that right now if you zoomed into my eyes,
behind the darkness of my lids you would see fireworks that matched
the popping in my ears and vivid flowing of my blood.
Right now I am pretty sure I have no lungs
The most perfect kiss of my life.
I never want it to end, but you know I need my lungs back”

We were both quite even though 5 minutes had passed since then...she must have felt little awkward later cuz this was very straightforward from her part...i thought of talking something productive
“so ma’am kitchen is closed now, aren’t u hungry”....i said looking straight into her enticing eyesight...god damn it...wt m i saying...n y d hell u giving me that look ...i took ma eyesight back on menu again
“come..” she said holding ma hand...
“i have seen bhelpuri stall outside...lets eat there..”


She was eating every pani puri with such a pleasure...
I had finished my bhelpuri and was thinking...ofcuz bout that “incident” 15 minutes ago
She was saying something and i was lost in my own thoughts...thoughts about how lucky i was to have some1 like her in my life...
“gautam listen...u know what unlike goans. I don’t like eating in those ravish big restaurants,showing off fashion, night life, partying all the tym,living a hi-fi life...m a simple mumbaikar...and i like life to be simple...and ofcuz i love simple people ....may be thats the reason why i love you..”
She said and winked at me
“hmm...that xplains my reason to be quite at the restaurant”...i said
And we both laughed (my 75% anger had dissapeard long back)

She was stuck by that simple truth...that most of the ordinary things can be made extra ordinary..if u have rite people with u...
And i...well i was stuck by d same bt in “vice versa” manner...

power to captivate

*sound of vibration*..

I got up frm ma semi trans state n checked ma cell...damn...another forward from ankit...i so hate him...

Its been 3 days...n i was cursing myself for being so rude on her...when u really miss ur special sum1 u always end up cursing urself for the thngs which u dint do...thts d power of love....n realisation...

But ya wateva it was...i had sent her around 50 msgs on “sorry” theme in ths 2 days...n had tried to call her so many times...but...no response...i was so frustrated at myself...every bit of that so cald “anger” on her was gone...n i so wanted her to reply me....or meet me ths coming Saturday....i dnt know y but ths was d height...i hadn’t missed her so much before...though there had been few fights..but this was longer one....n ya...it was my mistake ( i dint understand what made me reciprocate ths statement in front of her tht day)..

I skipped ma lunch...had no interest in going out wid friends for ne movie....i just wanted her to call me, msg me, or atlist gimme a miscal ...

I slept again...

But soon i got up...tht part where i skipd luch was taking a toll on me...just had some snacks ...n checkd ma cell again...2 more forwad msgs frm ankit,

I threw ma cell on bed...n switchd on tv...just to divert ma attention....

N after few minutes ma cell again again vibrated...ths tym i went n that was it...tht moment iv l never frgt ever...it was her msg n it was so romantically written...

“baby....ofcuz i missd u...

Ok nt in ‘im sorry’ way..

Nt even in “i forgive u” way..

I just misd u in “i missed u” way...:|..”

She was so adorable...so sweet...this is how she is...naughty but cute n lovely...no more words to describe her...i had always wanted such person in ma life n i had found her and why even m trying to trammel wid that reality????

ma heart almost melted after reading that msg...i soon called her n we spoke for around 5 hourz before her battery died..

So like this no matter how many fights we had in our tainted relationship...ths fights ended on a sweet note..ofcuz it was me who always used to say sorry even if she was on d wrong side most of the tym...but wateva it was i was 5n with it....cuz she had that control...that power over me...tht magnetising power which i used to call...she could turn my moods as and when she wanted...magician of ma heart

But soon it was all about to change...those magnetic powers were bout to get destroyed by sum external electric field...her presence in ma life was just too strong...d presence of that charming beauty

another

Hey…wt ya looking and y ya stoned…?(mischievous)

M not stoned…LOST is d right word…m just lost in ur amazing beauty…internal external both…

M totally lost in it…damn ur so beautiful…

Ohh m i?? ..just elaborate ma beauty…(again mischievious….challenging me ha…I like ths challenges of urz..)

Hmmm…ok…ur beautiful to such an extent tht if I play hide n seek in it…u vl neva be able to find me…its so vast tht it vl take me 100 years to travel through ur beauty….ur beauty can accumulate indias no chinas whole population…

Aargh…u n ur idiotic idioms…stop it….

Ya..just kidding baby…c thr r certain good thngs wich u just cant elaborate d reason as to why they r so good…they just happen to be perffect…n ur beauty is such an amazing thng …wich I just cant put in words…

I can only feel it ….(I tried to kiss her but she resisted…

“oye…unlce and aunty are down…wt if some1 suddenly comes upstairs…

“ohh c’mon…we r in balcony n door is closed” …

“still…u knw wt…m bit scared ya…aunty / uncle luks at me wid tht kinda suspicious face ,…I gt scared”

“haha…don’t be…atlist wid ma parents…just don’t be…I fool em every minute..”

Suddenly she got serious…

“gautam…this nature of urz I dnt like…serisly…its sumtimes difficult to trust u…”

“baby…ur saying tht…c’mon u knw I trust u to so much extent tht I tell u each n evry small small thngs…i dnt knw y u do ths to me all d tym…u always take me wrong…”

“k…well I knw I overreacted but serisly…u gota be frank wid uncle n aunty too…”

“Okay 5n….tht means u want me to tell em bout us rite now…”

“this isnt the point…dunno wen u vl undestand me”

“what ….undestand u…all wt I did in ths 3 years is just try to undestand u …n still….

And then erupted the longest fight…yup..yet another longest fight…as usual…our meet after 3 months ended on a bad note…which again wasn’t a tottaly new thng in our cracked relationship of over 2 and half year....

an extract

“yes I am…I am selfish….i want my life to be perfect…I want everythng in ma life to be perfect…I have always been like this…a selfish brat…bt 1 thng u don’t undestand…UR ma LIFE…”

Yes I mean it…ur ma life…my everythng..baby …u just don’t get it…y I do all this..??
Y I get into this family matter…its not as if im interested in all this…I do this only for u…yes I accept it all affects ma studies…but my life is more important for me…n baby ur ma life”

“if we don’t get it all right then we might loose on many things…how the hell u gotta get chance to visit goa often…how will I ever get chance to meet ya in pune”

“Baby we got to solve this family matters…our families been together for many years now…together they hav been involved in so many circumstance including problems and joyous moments as well..
But now this situation is worsening…its not only because of that dubai tender and spate between shyam uncle and ur dad..the situation is worsening day by day and its not gud for our future..”

“Future??? “

After a brief pause with a bit of shock …I enquired..”baby dnt u c future in our relationship??”
“ yes totally…I mean ya we have,…but as of now thts not a problem…trust me…plzz…u look into ur studies n stuff first….this is all never gona work out…just don’t knw wt to say….

“but listen…we gotta try to do something atlist”

“ not at ur career risk”
“but..”

“ c u cant design life like a building…u have to live it…n it vl design itself”

I heard enuf

i shouted angrily “now dnt copy tht dialogue of ur architectural frnd jyotika”

“this isnt a joke…we gotta live thru this…n v gota find a way out of this…we just cant go on taking life as it comes….atlist I cant…m nt a coward”

“wt??? …u mean m a coward….u….”

I shut d door behind n left…tht was ma everydays strategy to tackle any argument wid her…
Cowardly rite…indeed I was this totally confused guy all together…

But it was all bound to change with tym…n I was made to change my opinion bout d life theory…
Not entirely…but ya certainly to such extent as to make me n ma life feel good…

She changed everythng within no tym…tht innocuous beauty…:)