year 2035: How uncle ronny met aunt Jenny

YEAR 2035

Me: Kids, I am gonna tell you all an incredible story. The story of how uncle Ronny met aunt Jenny

Kids(confused) : Dad! Thought you gonna tell us about how u met mom.

Me: well, kids the story of how i met your mom includes some complications and things which i will reconsider, analyse and edit and tell, so...its gonna take me a while. In the meantime i will tell you all this incredible story of the two people who are really close to my heart, and well yours too..

Son(innocent and childish excitement): yeah..!! it’s always nice to hear stories about uncle ronny.

Daughter(with equally innocent excited voice): and aunt Jenny!!!

Me:25 years ago sitting in our regular booth at tina’s juice centre near our college PCCE, your uncle ronny admitted to a “gospel” which was gonna haunt him for the next 2 years.

He said “ i think i may have developed a little crush on that girl”.

At that time, We were in the third semester , and pretty much fresh and raring to enjoy our next 3 years in college, so when i first heard it from his mouth, my reaction was.. well lets just say i ended up puking the orange juice which i was drinking in my own mouth and gulping it down my throat

Son: gross!! Dad you are so disgusting

Me: now, stop talking in between,  do you wanna listen to the story or no?

Son: I think I better go and play fifa

Daughter: I will go and watch vampire diaries season 20

Me: no no!!, kids listen to me, will handle Q&A’s later

Ok  so where was i?

Ah yes

I clearly remember that particular day. We had practical’s and me and ronny reached late..and ronny couldn’t get a place to sit next to aunt Jenny. The master coder ronny couldn’t even solve a simple C++ code that day, he had no interest in reading player ratings of arsenals 4-4 draw against Liverpool. I could see it on his face, I could sense it, the kind of feelings he had developed. No offense my dear daughter but girls are complicated and it was initial stage so I couldn’t risk giving a stern advice over this to ronny. It would have been vaguely premature from my side.

So, as the days went on their friendship grew stronger n somewhere between the 3rd sem, he fell in love with her. But the things between them were just based on those four magical words “we are just friends”, atleast for the external world around them.

And then came the 4th semester. One fine day we sitting at the willy’s ice cream parlour eating our favourite ice-cream promoted by then England football team captain john terry, and uncle ronny told me a secret which he had kept to himself for a long time.

Son: dad, can i ask you a question, isn’t willy’s the place where you get cigarettes and stuff?

Me: son, those were good old days back then, we weren’t even knowing the spelling of cigarette let alone touching or smoking it, listen, I am gonna tell you an important thing “smoking kills” and..

Son(interrupting): dad I am fifteen for god sake I know smoking is harmful.

Me: ok...good..

So, uncle ronny told me that he indeed confessed about his feelings to aunt Jenny, and she told him that she too “had” developed  feelings for him  but presently her feelings magically ( or rather “tragically” for uncle ronny) disappeared and she doesn’t feel it anymore, uncle ronny had gone for a long tour to Kolkata, and he confessed to me that had he known earlier, he would have come back to goa any day in between that tour, such a romantic guy your uncle ronny was/is..

What followed The following semester was the series of  ”THE END” and “the end of THE END”. Where in both used to stop talking to each other, start talking to each other, listen to sad songs, sing  happy songs together, stop sitting with each other, walk with each other.  We friends could only believe and hear  those magical words again “we are just friends”. But your uncle ronny has always been truthful to me. He used to tell me everything. And He always continued and tried his best to be with her and accepted whatever “the end” or “the ban” she used to impose on her. Aunt Jenny has always been a nice person but as you all know girls take a lot of time to accept some stern reality and she took her own sweet time, but what made me proud and what made aunt jenny proud is the fact that despite so many “failures”, “accidents”,  “no-feelings”, “backs” and everything wrong that happened during those times, uncle ronny always kept pushing, he always kept believing in himself and in his true love.

He sang “I can be your hero”, he went on to search and got the best shwarma in goa for her,

There was this one instance where uncle ronny reaches home which is 60 kms far  from college, and he gets a text from aunt Jenny saying “wish you were here in college”. He, without thinking twice, drives all the way back to the college and surprises her.

There were times when he used to feel depressed and call me in babaji’s cold drink house, we used to sit there in our regular booth and discuss about “the end” for hours. I always believed that what they had/have is special. Because, I had seen them together in my dreams.  Kids I have this weird theory, whatever I see in my dreams, it always turns out to be true.

Son: did you see mom in your dreams too?

Me: well, when I met your mom, I went into the longest dream of my life, and I never came out of it, I am still relishing that dream..

So, getting back to uncle ronny, those times he handled it pretty strongly, honestly if I was at his place, I would given up a long time ago...but as I said what they had was/is something special. And universe kept on conspiring and derailing their “the end” train. Although the things remained the same “we are just friends”, “no feelings”!!!

But then came the amiable twist,

 on the lonely, darkest and scary night of 27th march 2011, uncle ronny received a weirdest text, some kind of a code, he first thought it was from the aliens. But soon he checked it was from aunt Jenny, he couldn’t believe his eyes.

He casually picked his phone and called me. I will recite you all the exact conversation

Ronny: hey bro, what u doing?

Me: well, me chatting with this girl “what’s her name” (sorry kids i don’t remember her name anymore).. and I just “vazied” her.

Ronny: OMG, don’t tell me you used “the vazy” trick, did it work??

Me: oh yes, the “the vazy “always works,

 anyways what’s up? What’s so important to call in the middle of the night?

Ronny: bro u wont believe what just happened? I don’t know how to tell you, Jenny texted me some code, some weird code.

Me: article 322 of brocode says that when a bro stumbles upon a mysterious code or any mysterious design by da-vinci , he should always work in co-operation with a fellow bro while decoding it. See you tomorrow morning  at babaji’s and don’t come in shorts like always , “jeans –up”.

The next morning he showed me the text containing that code. It was a cryptographic recite. Let me tell you all one thing about aunt jenny. She might come across as a lazy person but she is one of the brightest minds around, in college she always used to mysteriously clear all the difficult, brainy papers but used to screw up all her easy papers cause of her laziness.

Getting back to the code, we worked on decrypting that code for 2 days, I tried all my brute force algorithms, uncle ronny apparently used to stare at the code on his cell for hours, although i still feel  he ended up staring at aunt Jenny’s picture instead like how he always used to do.

And after all this effort and tireless working day and night, cramming our brain with numerous possibilities we concluded that

WE ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING

Kids: so dad what was that code, how did you all find out?

Son: well kids respecting your aunt’s high level of intelligence, we invoked the “bro-oath” and decided to keep the anonymity of that code a secret, but I will tell you all what it contained.

4 days later on 31st march 2011 aunt eventually disclosed the hidden meaning behind that code; it contained those 3 magical words “i love you”.

She accepted the feelings are mutual, apparently she told him “I hate you for never letting me go, I hate you for always being there for me, I hate you I hate you I hate you, but I love you”

Uncle ronny was the happiest person that day.. And well needless to say i was equally happy for them and well i have nothing else to say what happened for years to follow, as they say in movies.. They went on to live happily ever after...:)

Kids blame the movies for having such high expectations of relationship, but honestly i believe whatever relationship it is, whether friendship, love or even parental. In a long run The only thing that holds it together or required for its sustainability is TRUTH and TRUST.

So, kids its almost 12.30, its time to witness the epic champions league final between Liverpool and AC Milan. Finish your dinner quickly..lets cheer our lovely club, and after the match I am gonna tell you all how Liverpool won the 2005 champions league.

Kids(shouting): dad...!!! How boring can u be?

Me:  A lot..;)

To,

 The editor,

Mimes of india.

Sir,

Well, u can perceive me as just another teenage Indian girl, but what I am writing to you is really more of a serious matter tried to put it in words by a teenager in real concern. Today as I sat in the hall watching the television with my parents, specially my lovely mom, I came across something horrible.

The hype and exaggeration of the reality shows and the supposedly creepy “breaking news” of the news channel have made us teenagers life a living hell especially girls. As my mom witnessed a horrified news of young girls getting raped across India and the manner in which they presented in their “sansani” style , her face dampened and along with my granny she felt extra serious about all this, and in turn , I had to hear a long lecture over this. This has been the case many times. Now the thing which they show is true to some extent, but letme be honest, im a realist as well as a “believist” . now something bad gonna happen, its destined to happen in reality. Just because I wear a salwar-kameez over a tee and mini skirt, doesn’t reduce my chances of getting molested, does it?.

Well I am lucky to be living and studying in the modern state of goa where people from all religion live in harmony . yet there are some things which are prevalent. I cant deny that. Some restrictions are oblivious and I know my limits and I know where I stand. But the hype which this reality shows and the news channel create is just too much. Specially the old people and conservative family personal take it too seriously and we teenage girls have to suffer mentally and emotionally.

 Not everyone is as lucky as me to have a wonderful pagal in my life- gaurav...:)

Now letme tell you few things about gaurav, he is the nicest person I know. The relationship which I share with him is amazing, he makes me happy, and the very fact that I have said “love you” to him more than I have said to any1 else proves how important he is my life. Anyways coming back to the topic. As I felt disturbed with the conversation with my mom, granny, I could think of only 1 person to talk to. When I get disturb I usualy hide myself like a tortoise in a shell. But this gaurav keeps irritating me, god knows why he likes to hear me crib so much, bloody loser! He even “loves” my mood it seems.. and as you know how much girls need a listener who can quietly listen to their cribbing and bla bla bla…so it all balances, no wonder I ended up calling him. Ok fine, as I write this I don’t find gaurav thing relevant to my original serious story, he had just a small role to play as he listened to my anger and agreed to whatever I said and even agreed to help me out in writing a letter (which he never did, lazy douchbag) so that’s all about gaurav.

Now coming back to the serious rape matter, I don’t understand why this men are so sex hungry. TV channels instead of showing statistics and nature of rape cases, should concentrate more on creating awareness and upgrading the seriousness of rape-molestation laws. I think government should really employ stringent laws like they should have men’s testicles crushed under stone if found guilty of rape case, and I mean it.

Funny story, when I was cribbing about such things with bitter angerness I said “if I could, I would chop everyone’s manhood” and gaurav said “please dont chop mine, I would never rape anyone. I promise”..lol he can be really funny at times. But mostly he doesnt talk. He only writes. And yet his one or two witty statements make me smile, and his funny stories makes me laugh like crazy. But then again as I said we two can smile and laugh in silence. Mad people we are. As I am writing this I am smiling thinking about him. And now I am blushing as well. I try avoiding it in front of him, but I know when we meet , sometimes I just look down and blush. He is just an average looking chap but his character is what I like, and well, he likes everything about me. Right from my braces to my beautiful eyes. Ok well I know I am praising myself too much. But I am only saying the truth. “mein toh apni favourite hun”..;)

Ok now forgetting about me and gaurav and getting back to the more serious matter. I don’t get why men are so sex starved. Physical intimacy isn't the only way to connect with ladies. We live in such a sex hungry society. The marriage has lost all its true meaning. A marriage is merging of 2 souls into one. It’s a state where 2 hearts melt, Where in both bride and groom know each other and know what they are doing. Where a groom realizes that this is the girl with whom he wants to spend his rest of the life with, she is the one whom he wants to kiss “goodnight” on her forehead every night. Her radiant innocuous face is what he wants to see every morning when he wake up. However the scenario has taken complete different sequence. I told this to gaurav and I say it again “marriage is just a connotation which legalizes sex, nothing else” . But then again like how gaurav explained not all men are like that , and I believe it. I once even told him that I want husband like him, who understands me so well, I don’t know whether he took it seriously or not. Anyways, Gaurav is really cheesy. A lot cheesy at that. But his cheesiness makes me smile and blush. As he once said “ I can make u laugh and smile without even touching/tickling you, just imagine how much in state of bliss you will be wen I actually touch you”.. pagal *blush*. He just has to tell me how beautiful I am. Despite me, knowing how beautiful I am..:P Oops! Sorry I should be talking about more general issues and not my personal life. So getting back to the rape thing. What our society needs is love and respect. What this news channels should do is work towards betterment of the society and fulfillment of the needs of the society. Education/literacy and stringent laws on alcohol restriction, rape acuse term and jail sentence etc are need to be in place. And most importantly what u need is someone in life who solves all your problems. Like how gaurav calls me his “stress buster”. Well indeed the feeling is mutual. We do need stress busters at times.

And At times I do miss gaurav, but I don’t know why I abstain myself from interacting with him , like for the past few days I havent been replying his calls, msgs. I know how he must be feeling. Outside he shows like he is cool and relax , but I know inside he must be dying a slow painful death without me. But then why doesnt he say anything, like I have told him “I love you” more times then he has said. I don’t get it, why are we holding our love back. Specially he is so cheesy and yet he Is happy at the way things are going in our mind boggling relationship.may be he is afraid that if he overdo some things he might lose me, cuz after all , he wants my happiness and over the time I have realized he means it, but what he doesn’t get is, he is my happiness..:).. Well, however it is, I know it does make me happy and it does make him happy and like one famous quote goes “he smiles, she smiles, problem solved”..:)

So , being in a relationship doesn’t only mean kissing, dating, and show off, its about being with the person who makes u happy, and oh ya! Also men shouldn’t rape anyone- physically or mentally..

Thank you..:P

Yours sincerely,

 Mausambi..;)

Eccentricity

I realize now that probably a very big chunk of my life I have spent being happy. ...Not ecstatic maybe- but happy for sure.... And that is what makes unhappiness so completely unbearable, So difficult, So bloodypainful...

I can't be unhappy. ..It is too hard to bear.... Too hard to accept and live with...

I don't care if that is the rule of the world.

I spent roughly 24 hours trying to live unhappiness down... I have notsucceeded.... I feel miserable... I can't laugh..

I need something... Get me that something. ...That someone.

Or take it all away....Revise and refresh my mind into a new document.

Why can I not be like the poetry I try to write? ...That can be edited on need?

Somebody please edit me....

i thought i had no feelings, but i was wrong...she was right all the way along...this creepy feeling of being lonely is so suffocating, i feel as if i am lying in bottomless abyss, floating with a heavy head, so full of thoughts and numerous thoughts leading to various assumptions each reaching its dead-end.
i never felt this before but why am i feeling so low today?, the day i expected and prepared myself to sleep early, this night is eating hell out of me, creeping me out, head feeling heavy, heart feeling hollow, i have become numb, loneliness is covering me up with this dark shadow and i am feeling helpless...
may be i never gave it a thought, maybe i thought this all to be my own fantasies and i would control them all. but right now i feel i am into her fantasies and that i have been controlled by her.
i should have listened to my dark passenger and the code which kept saying throughout that i am going in the wrong direction and that i am fading away..
i feel its too late to control this urge now, after all it has proved that i am still human after all, and that i am in the realm of her bliss and my own dark passenger which kept my "secrety" life intact and kept me cool and calm has finally abandoned me and yet again i say i feel numb, just a day after i tweeted "i feel alive"...

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

“And there goes the final whistle, Liverpool have won comfortably”, echoed the words of FIFA11 commentators Andy Grey and Martin Tyler. As this words passed through headphones and echoed back into the ears of our protagonist Gaurav, along with the sight of his winning team celebrating, he passed a soothing smile. The kind of smile his parents had when he had passed his SSC examinations with flying colors. Fast forward four years and they never got to wear that smile again.
As he leaned on his chair with heavy chest proud as if he has conquered the world, he tried to exercise his neck by moving it towards the left side, and then right and then again left and he almost sprained his neck. He turned towards the right side again and he saw something which almost took his newly found bliss level to zero. His plane of happiness encountered an engine failure and crashed and burned.
He saw clock and he saw the time. It was 1.30 am. He had exams in exactly 12 hours from now. He couldn’t believe it. He had finished his dinner by 9.30 and thought he would just check his facebook page for any notification and then may be play a game or 2 online and then do proper studies. And how the hell he ended up wasting so much time, the victory seemed nothing to him now. He was confused. Quickly he decide that he will take a nap for 2 hours and then freshen up and finish at least 2 modules….
20 minutes passed and he was still lying in his bed trying to get sleep. Sleep is a weird phenomena, it never comes when we need it the most. He checked his cell phone which he had kept below his pillow. He started reading his “unread” messages, around half a dozen messages from his girlfriend sadhana,
“ my love for you is like pacific ocean, thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssss big”
Messages were cure enough to send love tickles through his heart. He checked the time, it was almost 2 am. He wanted to call her. He was caught into a dilemma. “I should call her” and “ I shouldn’t disturb her”. And as usual he listened to his selfish heart and pressed the green button of his cell phone. Her cell phone rang but she dint pick.
At this instance He was happy as well as sad, happy because he was not guilty of disrupting her sleep and sad because he couldn’t fulfill his urge to talk to her. He was getting irritated with every passing second.
And suddenly he felt something tickling his ears. It was his mobile with “sadhana calling” flashing the blue lighted sceen.
gaurav picked n before he could even say a simple "hello", he got bombarded with all sorts of questions
"i was in the loo when u called. i couldnt sleep . where were you? i was trying to call u from past 3 hours , what happend to your cellphone, y u switch it off ?? "
" please dont remind me about past hours"...i literally wasted , my whole life is bloody wasted, totaly wasted im gud for nothing ya, i have exams in next 10 hours or so and im not even prepared with 1 module , m geting royally screwdd tomorow" he went on to say a lot,
sadhana was quite as usual, she was the least caring person herself. but when it came to important stuff like exams, she used to give her best, 100% efforts..she couldnt resist her sweet smile.
she knew everything about gaurav and his freakish nature
"baby, just come out in the balcony for a while" she replied calmly
"for what" gaurav asked, still pissed at himself and everything else
"listen, just come out n feel the fresh air u idiot" she said so sweetly and as always he couldnt resist her 'order'.
"ok now listen, u still have time, do as much as u can, next paper after a week na, so tomorrow u can sleep whole evening and night, today u just concentrate for this 10 hours" she said
"yes, but im feeling so mindfucked, n i dont have any idea what to start"
she smiled again
"ur getting mindfucked??, ur supposedly mr. cool" she laughed and then said
"ok, u have four modules na, just start with the 3rd one, number 3 is lucky for you today, i read ur horoscope"
gaurav forgot about his woes for a split second and giggled
"oye, that 3rd module comes very tough , and i know that horoscope thing u just made it up"
"no, tomorrow its gonna come very easy, like very very easy, so do it"
"ok my darling, i sure will" gaurav was all cheered up now
"now dont be romantic, u know u suck at it"
gaurav laughed,
"ok , now look at the moon" sadhana went on..
"moon.. and u...hmmm becoming romantic ha" gaurav interrupted
"oh shut up!! u know im not like other girls...all lovey-dovey stuff..dont be optimistic u fool, im not gonna say 'i want moon' or 'ur my moon'..hahaha" she passed on her evil laugh which made gaurav even more cheerful
"just look at the moon and see the 2 bright stars on the right side of the moon"
"yeah spotted " gaurav replied
"just look at those stars and pray that ur paper goes good" she said with a pleasant smile
"ok my darling, done " gaurav said after pretendint to pray for 1 minute or so..
"now that's more like my obedient darling" she said, and this time she passed on a naughty smile
from here on their conversation went from being general to bit private and privacy is not the genre we would like to touch upon..

it was 3.00 am now and gaurav had finished talking or rather was forced by sadhana to stop talking. he entered his room with a smile. his face was glowing like a moon. he seemed all enthusiastic and all set to study. he sorted all the 3rd module notes and kept on his table.
but when he was about to close the lid of his laptop, something weird happened. "i would just check my facebook page for one last time" thought crossed his mind. its like how they show in movies. "jaise koi hawa ka halka sa jhoka aaya". he moved his fingers over his touch pad. his fingers started typing "www.facebook.com automatically. within no time the domains got replaced by gmail, yahoo. he started checking his wall, mails , notifications.
'the one last time' continued for the next three hours until he was transported to a dream state with his cheek getting the imprints of the keyboard below.

P.S. 1) gaurav was awakened at 10am by his best friend rowen who called him to tell that he too ended up doing nothing. they spoke for around 1 hour and the topic of their discussion was certainly not related to studies...:P
2)details of their conversation cant be revealed because of the high level of TRUST between them...:)
3)they both ended up screwing that day's paper, but that conversation changed their lives. the day which started abruptly for gaurav set a great landmark for better things to come and he went on to clear all the remaining papers...:D
4)and for rowen, well, gaurav's sixth sense is always spot on...;)

Everything written here on my blog (apart from my name and address..:P) is an indigenous art of fiction ,
Resemblance to any real life individual( or couples) should be purely/merely considered as a case of coincidence

p.s. In normal life, coincidences often occur...;)

valentines day conversation, - a "sting operation" by god

The comments and the description of the scenario has been exclusively provided by the god himself...”true story”



He: hello
She : hii...happy valentine’s day
He: ya wish you the same (surprised but at the same time adamant not to sound surprised or jubilant)

[a brief pause]

She: man .... this looks weird na...i mean for past 3 years, those challenges to call exactly at 12:12,those whole nite idiotic talks....this time its so different....”kahitari veglach watt ay....bolna kahi tari roz kasa bawlatasarkha badbadat astos. Aaj gappa ka, sang na kahitari”....(trying to be kiddish and over-convincing)
He : what to say...i have no words left...(still unperturbed, bloody loser tries to show attitude when its a universal fact that he has none)
She: ehhh...please...emotional nako hovus ha...(childish, unremorseful and surprising tone...difficult to understand girls psychology anyways)
He: i am not emotional , but u took me into past ..(well, there he is showing his true colours)
She: come to the present na, live in the present
He: hmm... (ok not being sexist here , but obviously its difficult to find out the secret behind “hmmm...”..)

[ a brief pause]

She: so.....how are you?....missed me???
He: ok the missing part, well to be frank, not really ( well kiddo, stop kidding)
She: good , so how are you , kasa ahes???? (over excited tone , stupid girls who shout for no reason)
He: well, my blood pressure is normal, luckily no diarrhoea, dysentery etc....(unable to complete the full “dialogue” as a far superior voice cuts the amplitude of his sound waves)
She: ha...ha...no risk of heart attack, no one to punch u in the face..bla bla bla...screw you and your same old dialogues...
He: ya ,...i know i am lame...cant help it
She: ur the same (ooooh kinda disgusted tone)
He: are you bored already ( trying to avoid the humiliation i guess)
She: not really , the boring person in my life has gone far away..
He: ohh then good for you, but hey there were rumours that u urself had thrown him away...?
sHe: don’t trust rumours, trust your heart..

[another brief pause]

(he in a dual mind now, begins to think about decision control structure from c language, what –else, what –if)
He: now what does that suppose to mean .???
She: whatever u think (girls and their ability to talk in puzzles even god cant help it...phew!..)
He: so how is everyone at home?? ....swanand,uncle , aunty????
She: everyone is fine ...but hey u never asked me how i am doing...(anger...god likes it...;)...)
He: you sound well, u have been allocated the “space” which u wanted, u have been also granted the “break” which u wanted...
She: ya...ya...stop it...(high pitch voice )
He: u know what.......i still love your voice

[yet another brief pause]

( man this is making me bored, guys talk something)
She: hey....can i hug you through phone...???
(he is shocked, i think he almost had a minor heart attack, even god is shocked)
He: of course you can ...only if your reliance’s dhirubhai ambani isn’t watching...
She: he is not like your Vodafone puppy who follows you everywhere...
[he and she both laugh...god is happy]
She: i missed you ....(whoa! where did that come from...)

[and another pause....i hate these emotional dramas]

He: u think i didn’t miss you, for so long i have been waiting to hear ur voice...i stopd listening to music...nothing amuses me these days...
She: well, hold on...just a second...let me make u clear....this break isn’t over ok...(*my god* , oops i forgot i am the god here, this girls make me forget about my own self...poor guys ...*god help them*...sheesh i forgot again , im the god...why the hell i created these creatures )
He: ya well, i know (he laughs, now i don’t know why the hell he laughed here)
She: but i still love you as a friend (oh yeah, BITE ME)
He: well, you continue loving me as a friend and i will continue loving you as my soul ...(well, he has got a point here, lad i am proud of you, u proved today that u are a complete moron)
She: god, u always make me lose when i am winning ( .......... *god had a panic attack..)


P.S
“he “ and “she” are still in the “break ke baad” mood
And about god,
well he has joined night classes on human psychology...