Friday, March 28, 2014

year 2035: How uncle ronny met aunt Jenny


YEAR 2035

Me: Kids, I am gonna tell you all an incredible story. The story of how uncle Ronny met aunt Jenny

Kids(confused) : Dad! Thought you gonna tell us about how u met mom.

Me: well, kids the story of how i met your mom includes some complications and things which i will reconsider, analyse and edit and tell, so...its gonna take me a while. In the meantime i will tell you all this incredible story of the two people who are really close to my heart, and well yours too..

Son(innocent and childish excitement): yeah..!! it’s always nice to hear stories about uncle ronny.

Daughter(with equally innocent excited voice): and aunt Jenny!!!

Me:25 years ago sitting in our regular booth at tina’s juice centre near our college PCCE, your uncle ronny admitted to a “gospel” which was gonna haunt him for the next 2 years.
He said “ i think i may have developed a little crush on that girl”.
At that time, We were in the third semester , and pretty much fresh and raring to enjoy our next 3 years in college, so when i first heard it from his mouth, my reaction was.. well lets just say i ended up puking the orange juice which i was drinking in my own mouth and gulping it down my throat

Son: gross!! Dad you are so disgusting

Me: now, stop talking in between,  do you wanna listen to the story or no?

Son: I think I better go and play fifa

Daughter: I will go and watch vampire diaries season 20

Me: no no!!, kids listen to me, will handle Q&A’s later

Ok  so where was i?

Ah yes

I clearly remember that particular day. We had practical’s and me and ronny reached late..and ronny couldn’t get a place to sit next to aunt Jenny. The master coder ronny couldn’t even solve a simple C++ code that day, he had no interest in reading player ratings of arsenals 4-4 draw against Liverpool. I could see it on his face, I could sense it, the kind of feelings he had developed. No offense my dear daughter but girls are complicated and it was initial stage so I couldn’t risk giving a stern advice over this to ronny. It would have been vaguely premature from my side.
So, as the days went on their friendship grew stronger n somewhere between the 3rd sem, he fell in love with her. But the things between them were just based on those four magical words “we are just friends”, atleast for the external world around them.
And then came the 4th semester. One fine day we sitting at the willy’s ice cream parlour eating our favourite ice-cream promoted by then England football team captain john terry, and uncle ronny told me a secret which he had kept to himself for a long time.

Son: dad, can i ask you a question, isn’t willy’s the place where you get cigarettes and stuff?

Me: son, those were good old days back then, we weren’t even knowing the spelling of cigarette let alone touching or smoking it, listen, I am gonna tell you an important thing “smoking kills” and..

Son(interrupting): dad I am fifteen for god sake I know smoking is harmful.

Me: ok...good..

So, uncle ronny told me that he indeed confessed about his feelings to aunt Jenny, and she told him that she too “had” developed  feelings for him  but presently her feelings magically ( or rather “tragically” for uncle ronny) disappeared and she doesn’t feel it anymore, uncle ronny had gone for a long tour to Kolkata, and he confessed to me that had he known earlier, he would have come back to goa any day in between that tour, such a romantic guy your uncle ronny was/is..
What followed The following semester was the series of  ”THE END” and “the end of THE END”. Where in both used to stop talking to each other, start talking to each other, listen to sad songs, sing  happy songs together, stop sitting with each other, walk with each other.  We friends could only believe and hear  those magical words again “we are just friends”. But your uncle ronny has always been truthful to me. He used to tell me everything. And He always continued and tried his best to be with her and accepted whatever “the end” or “the ban” she used to impose on her. Aunt Jenny has always been a nice person but as you all know girls take a lot of time to accept some stern reality and she took her own sweet time, but what made me proud and what made aunt jenny proud is the fact that despite so many “failures”, “accidents”,  “no-feelings”, “backs” and everything wrong that happened during those times, uncle ronny always kept pushing, he always kept believing in himself and in his true love.
He sang “I can be your hero”, he went on to search and got the best shwarma in goa for her,
There was this one instance where uncle ronny reaches home which is 60 kms far  from college, and he gets a text from aunt Jenny saying “wish you were here in college”. He, without thinking twice, drives all the way back to the college and surprises her.
There were times when he used to feel depressed and call me in babaji’s cold drink house, we used to sit there in our regular booth and discuss about “the end” for hours. I always believed that what they had/have is special. Because, I had seen them together in my dreams.  Kids I have this weird theory, whatever I see in my dreams, it always turns out to be true.
Son: did you see mom in your dreams too?
Me: well, when I met your mom, I went into the longest dream of my life, and I never came out of it, I am still relishing that dream..
So, getting back to uncle ronny, those times he handled it pretty strongly, honestly if I was at his place, I would given up a long time ago...but as I said what they had was/is something special. And universe kept on conspiring and derailing their “the end” train. Although the things remained the same “we are just friends”, “no feelings”!!!
But then came the amiable twist,
 on the lonely, darkest and scary night of 27th march 2011, uncle ronny received a weirdest text, some kind of a code, he first thought it was from the aliens. But soon he checked it was from aunt Jenny, he couldn’t believe his eyes.
He casually picked his phone and called me. I will recite you all the exact conversation

Ronny: hey bro, what u doing?

Me: well, me chatting with this girl “what’s her name” (sorry kids i don’t remember her name anymore).. and I just “vazied” her.

Ronny: OMG, don’t tell me you used “the vazy” trick, did it work??

Me: oh yes, the “the vazy “always works,

 anyways what’s up? What’s so important to call in the middle of the night?

Ronny: bro u wont believe what just happened? I don’t know how to tell you, Jenny texted me some code, some weird code.

Me: article 322 of brocode says that when a bro stumbles upon a mysterious code or any mysterious design by da-vinci , he should always work in co-operation with a fellow bro while decoding it. See you tomorrow morning  at babaji’s and don’t come in shorts like always , “jeans –up”.

The next morning he showed me the text containing that code. It was a cryptographic recite. Let me tell you all one thing about aunt jenny. She might come across as a lazy person but she is one of the brightest minds around, in college she always used to mysteriously clear all the difficult, brainy papers but used to screw up all her easy papers cause of her laziness.

Getting back to the code, we worked on decrypting that code for 2 days, I tried all my brute force algorithms, uncle ronny apparently used to stare at the code on his cell for hours, although i still feel  he ended up staring at aunt Jenny’s picture instead like how he always used to do.
And after all this effort and tireless working day and night, cramming our brain with numerous possibilities we concluded that

WE ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING

Kids: so dad what was that code, how did you all find out?

Son: well kids respecting your aunt’s high level of intelligence, we invoked the “bro-oath” and decided to keep the anonymity of that code a secret, but I will tell you all what it contained.
4 days later on 31st march 2011 aunt eventually disclosed the hidden meaning behind that code; it contained those 3 magical words “i love you”.

She accepted the feelings are mutual, apparently she told him “I hate you for never letting me go, I hate you for always being there for me, I hate you I hate you I hate you, but I love you”
Uncle ronny was the happiest person that day.. And well needless to say i was equally happy for them and well i have nothing else to say what happened for years to follow, as they say in movies.. They went on to live happily ever after...:)

Kids blame the movies for having such high expectations of relationship, but honestly i believe whatever relationship it is, whether friendship, love or even parental. In a long run The only thing that holds it together or required for its sustainability is TRUTH and TRUST.

So, kids its almost 12.30, its time to witness the epic champions league final between Liverpool and AC Milan. Finish your dinner quickly..lets cheer our lovely club, and after the match I am gonna tell you all how Liverpool won the 2005 champions league.

Kids(shouting): dad...!!! How boring can u be?

Me:  A lot..;)

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