Friday, June 18, 2010
craving for the journey through past
I have had enough already
I had made up my mind that very instant
I should solve this matter quickly..
So I thought the best way is -to ask for help .. Consult someone...
And the best way to solve a problem is from the beginning.
I would go back in my past and try joining all the paradoxical events that had taken place in my life...there were quite a few which had occurred already (and I had no idea how many more were to come)
Im guessing you have got the feeling that im talking about consulting a doctor or a psychiatrist even…..just imagine…hell no! That would be perhaps my last option!.
I decided to consult someone way better…(.and guess wat that too for free!;))
The only person who had stood besides me throughout my life,
Given me the best possible advice how to tackle all my problems
..Yes …she was the one,my pillar of sensibility, my cousin - my Mamata Didi..
She is the only one who could give me the best unbiased advice . And I had no doubt about it that this time to she would be there for me
Well that’s it on my Di’s matter for now
More on her and on her role in my tainted life later.
And by the way im sure all of you must be wondering what sort of a character is this.
Telling about his entire life without introducing himself even.
But bear no grudges ….I will let you’ll know who I am and what I’m talking about very soon…this is after all my story…about my life!
So there i was all set onto an expedition to save my already mudduled up life ..
.A journey through my past...that was the begining...to solve
the MYSTERY OF THAT INSIPID BEAUTY
I had made up my mind that very instant
I should solve this matter quickly..
So I thought the best way is -to ask for help .. Consult someone...
And the best way to solve a problem is from the beginning.
I would go back in my past and try joining all the paradoxical events that had taken place in my life...there were quite a few which had occurred already (and I had no idea how many more were to come)
Im guessing you have got the feeling that im talking about consulting a doctor or a psychiatrist even…..just imagine…hell no! That would be perhaps my last option!.
I decided to consult someone way better…(.and guess wat that too for free!;))
The only person who had stood besides me throughout my life,
Given me the best possible advice how to tackle all my problems
..Yes …she was the one,my pillar of sensibility, my cousin - my Mamata Didi..
She is the only one who could give me the best unbiased advice . And I had no doubt about it that this time to she would be there for me
Well that’s it on my Di’s matter for now
More on her and on her role in my tainted life later.
And by the way im sure all of you must be wondering what sort of a character is this.
Telling about his entire life without introducing himself even.
But bear no grudges ….I will let you’ll know who I am and what I’m talking about very soon…this is after all my story…about my life!
So there i was all set onto an expedition to save my already mudduled up life ..
.A journey through my past...that was the begining...to solve
the MYSTERY OF THAT INSIPID BEAUTY
Incessant dreams
"gautam, no...you cant do this to me, wt about that promise to be together forever..??" she cried..
"hey buddy..you are not doing this right, come back at once" russel screamed
"i want to, i am trying but i just cant"...i wanted to tell them but i cudnt...my voice was just too low..
it was as if im driven by some divine forces towards that dark path,towards that radiant ray..
i was helpless...i was inching closer towards that ray...and it was geting bigger n bigger...
these dream sessions continued for days to come...and it was indeed needless to say i was getting restless day by day...ofcuz i was very much disturbed...i had been never so much disturbed in my life before...my cool and calm composure was no more...i was behaving differently with everyone...
as days went on that ray in the midst of darkness started becoming more clear and visible..and i got a shock of ma lifetime..(ya it was to so much extent that i even fell off ma bed.."in reality"..)
it was a girl....her face was not clearly visible...she was rearing a white dress...she was like fairy, with that white dress of her...she was shining like a star...her face was lit like a moon...and after few days her face started becoming clearly visible...she was stupendous beauty...i have no words to describe that innocuous beauty...straight silky hairs...lips pink n glossy..light brown eyes...she had the most amazing features...she was a complete package...
ohh wait a second...i think i know her...no may be i dont...i was confused...i was perceiving her features in ma dreams and even in reality ..(ya it doesnt matter neways cuz m always in dreamy state)
the shining beauty...there she was in front of me..and i was getting a feeling that i knew her...i have met her.. i know her very well...or may be i dont..
damn i was so confused in my already confused mind...i tried hard...i stressed my brain to limit..but it was all of no use...
and after few days i gave up...not the dream, that dream continued...but i gave up thinking about her in reality...
but.... that urge still persists
"hey buddy..you are not doing this right, come back at once" russel screamed
"i want to, i am trying but i just cant"...i wanted to tell them but i cudnt...my voice was just too low..
it was as if im driven by some divine forces towards that dark path,towards that radiant ray..
i was helpless...i was inching closer towards that ray...and it was geting bigger n bigger...
these dream sessions continued for days to come...and it was indeed needless to say i was getting restless day by day...ofcuz i was very much disturbed...i had been never so much disturbed in my life before...my cool and calm composure was no more...i was behaving differently with everyone...
as days went on that ray in the midst of darkness started becoming more clear and visible..and i got a shock of ma lifetime..(ya it was to so much extent that i even fell off ma bed.."in reality"..)
it was a girl....her face was not clearly visible...she was rearing a white dress...she was like fairy, with that white dress of her...she was shining like a star...her face was lit like a moon...and after few days her face started becoming clearly visible...she was stupendous beauty...i have no words to describe that innocuous beauty...straight silky hairs...lips pink n glossy..light brown eyes...she had the most amazing features...she was a complete package...
ohh wait a second...i think i know her...no may be i dont...i was confused...i was perceiving her features in ma dreams and even in reality ..(ya it doesnt matter neways cuz m always in dreamy state)
the shining beauty...there she was in front of me..and i was getting a feeling that i knew her...i have met her.. i know her very well...or may be i dont..
damn i was so confused in my already confused mind...i tried hard...i stressed my brain to limit..but it was all of no use...
and after few days i gave up...not the dream, that dream continued...but i gave up thinking about her in reality...
but.... that urge still persists
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
back to reality
I woke up....it was my damn alarm ringing!!...
"teri marzi" song by kailash kher...
As usual I snoozed it...and lay back down again....
took my cell,went to playlist...n played that song again....
""Aye Khuda Teri Marzi Ke Aage Kya Hoga Kya Pata
Tu Jo Chaahe Waisa Sama Ho, Teri Raza
Tu Jo Chaahe Tapati Dhup Mein, Aye Khuda
Khilata Huwa Gulista Hoga
Tune Banaayi Raahein, Tune Banaayi Manjil
Hum Le Chalein Hai Apana Kaarwaan, Aye Khuda
Teri Marzi Ke Aage Kya Hoga, Aye Khuda""
” How true indeed”...I said to myself..
2 minutes later...I dozed off .
I could hear something vibrating,. I was taken aback..."no not that dream again"
I said
And ya Luck/destiny heard me this time (which doesn’t happen quite often I must tell you)...
it was my cell vibrating...
half asleep I picked up...
"Where the hell was your cell dude, lys and me have been calling u for past half n hour", it was Greville
"uhh..ya sorry dude, I was just.. ..uh .I mean I am sleeping" I replied still trying to fight for my senses
"WHAT!!?? Its 11.30 man...anyways just called to ask if ur coming with us for CS(counter-strike for all u people who might think its ‘computer science’ or something))....porvorim...we are leaving now...will be back by evening"
"Now??? hey dont you people have pracs tomorrow..??? "
This must have sounded funny coming from me because I’m like the least worried creature bout these exams n stuff
"Screw that man, just come, we will come back soon, Judah,Elroy n others will be there" he said
i contemplated for a while before replying
"Ohh so u got the team na...sorry ya, I will be going to Jitesh's place now, most probably...we will be discussing OOPS there"
Another plain white lie....I had no idea I was getting so damn good at lying..those 2 words "Most Probably" gave me enough security to say things without having to bother about consequences.
Don't get me wrong…I dont mind lying ...But I have never understood why people make a big deal about lying and being lied too!!
C'mon it doesn’t even figure in the 7 deadliest sins list....
H hung up saying "ok byee cya tc"
The phone call over and I was left to my thought again..(still lying in my bed)...but then suddenly I got up again..All of a sudden I felt choked...I couldnt breath...Damn this cold...
My cold was the most unpredictable thing in this universe...of course given the fact that it was a rainy season...and of course it had been pouring…...but I had not got wet as of now...
Oh damn...Now I’m gonna have to face Mom’s “slanderous” comments again!!
Yes that was the right word...I was tired of her taunts...
She would say:-
"You must have got wet yesterday, you must have had an ice-cream, you finished fanta from fridge, Don't listen to me and then go sneezing all over the place.. etc etc etc.."
None of the above accusations were true ofcourse…But moms are moms!!..:P.....
I got up n started searching for my allergy tablets...I found painkillers, sleeping pills, vitamin tablet,(sounds like I had the whole pharmacy in my room!) but where the hell was that cold tablet...
Never have I found things when I want them.....I so hate this life..lost in my thoughts again I came back to my room n dozed off once again...geting lost in my own little world of supernatural thoughts again.......
"teri marzi" song by kailash kher...
As usual I snoozed it...and lay back down again....
took my cell,went to playlist...n played that song again....
""Aye Khuda Teri Marzi Ke Aage Kya Hoga Kya Pata
Tu Jo Chaahe Waisa Sama Ho, Teri Raza
Tu Jo Chaahe Tapati Dhup Mein, Aye Khuda
Khilata Huwa Gulista Hoga
Tune Banaayi Raahein, Tune Banaayi Manjil
Hum Le Chalein Hai Apana Kaarwaan, Aye Khuda
Teri Marzi Ke Aage Kya Hoga, Aye Khuda""
” How true indeed”...I said to myself..
2 minutes later...I dozed off .
I could hear something vibrating,. I was taken aback..."no not that dream again"
I said
And ya Luck/destiny heard me this time (which doesn’t happen quite often I must tell you)...
it was my cell vibrating...
half asleep I picked up...
"Where the hell was your cell dude, lys and me have been calling u for past half n hour", it was Greville
"uhh..ya sorry dude, I was just.. ..uh .I mean I am sleeping" I replied still trying to fight for my senses
"WHAT!!?? Its 11.30 man...anyways just called to ask if ur coming with us for CS(counter-strike for all u people who might think its ‘computer science’ or something))....porvorim...we are leaving now...will be back by evening"
"Now??? hey dont you people have pracs tomorrow..??? "
This must have sounded funny coming from me because I’m like the least worried creature bout these exams n stuff
"Screw that man, just come, we will come back soon, Judah,Elroy n others will be there" he said
i contemplated for a while before replying
"Ohh so u got the team na...sorry ya, I will be going to Jitesh's place now, most probably...we will be discussing OOPS there"
Another plain white lie....I had no idea I was getting so damn good at lying..those 2 words "Most Probably" gave me enough security to say things without having to bother about consequences.
Don't get me wrong…I dont mind lying ...But I have never understood why people make a big deal about lying and being lied too!!
C'mon it doesn’t even figure in the 7 deadliest sins list....
H hung up saying "ok byee cya tc"
The phone call over and I was left to my thought again..(still lying in my bed)...but then suddenly I got up again..All of a sudden I felt choked...I couldnt breath...Damn this cold...
My cold was the most unpredictable thing in this universe...of course given the fact that it was a rainy season...and of course it had been pouring…...but I had not got wet as of now...
Oh damn...Now I’m gonna have to face Mom’s “slanderous” comments again!!
Yes that was the right word...I was tired of her taunts...
She would say:-
"You must have got wet yesterday, you must have had an ice-cream, you finished fanta from fridge, Don't listen to me and then go sneezing all over the place.. etc etc etc.."
None of the above accusations were true ofcourse…But moms are moms!!..:P.....
I got up n started searching for my allergy tablets...I found painkillers, sleeping pills, vitamin tablet,(sounds like I had the whole pharmacy in my room!) but where the hell was that cold tablet...
Never have I found things when I want them.....I so hate this life..lost in my thoughts again I came back to my room n dozed off once again...geting lost in my own little world of supernatural thoughts again.......
THE MYSTERY OF THAT INSIPID BEAUTY episode 1 (my story)
where the hell was i going...?? dwindling eyesight n i cud make out that it was nothing more than a black road...i would rather say a black sky...or in other words everythng was black...but where i was going and why i was going there....???
no doubt i have the bestest girl in ma life..and the bestesst friends in my life...inspite of all these i had left them behind...
"gautam......plzzz come back...plzzz.." , she was screaming...
"where the fuck u going dude...leaving all of us here, come back u moron", it was vasant
but i dont know why, i was out of my senses...i tried concentrating more on the discernability,
and alas!!
i could see something...i could make out where i was heading....it was a ray
a ray of hope....
and there i was walking...inching towards the so called ray of hope...suddenly i stopped..
i heard something....a sweet tune ....it was indeed a flute...n d voice was increasing at pace...ahhh!!!
it struck ma ears so loud....it went on increasing....n finally ma eyes opened...
no doubt i have the bestest girl in ma life..and the bestesst friends in my life...inspite of all these i had left them behind...
"gautam......plzzz come back...plzzz.." , she was screaming...
"where the fuck u going dude...leaving all of us here, come back u moron", it was vasant
but i dont know why, i was out of my senses...i tried concentrating more on the discernability,
and alas!!
i could see something...i could make out where i was heading....it was a ray
a ray of hope....
and there i was walking...inching towards the so called ray of hope...suddenly i stopped..
i heard something....a sweet tune ....it was indeed a flute...n d voice was increasing at pace...ahhh!!!
it struck ma ears so loud....it went on increasing....n finally ma eyes opened...
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Serendipity
ya..finally i hav joind blog...."sum" ppl just knw it perfect - "how to convince ppl"
and d name serendipity suits it all d best..
lol ofcuz its been voted one of the ten words that wer hardest to translate...:P
it basically means A propensity for making fortuitous discoveries while looking for something unrelated...
cuz even if i hav joind here...i just dnt hav ne polished articles or poems to share...
just ths random thots in ma mind wich i vl be sharing as of now..
n ya dnt trust ma grammer n phrases...m week in it...lol bt ma ideas n wateva thngs m gonna share wont bore u...tht atlist i can promise ...:)
n as d word serendipity says it all m always gona try n discover more n more thngs n vl go on improving in wateva way i could...:)
and d name serendipity suits it all d best..
lol ofcuz its been voted one of the ten words that wer hardest to translate...:P
it basically means A propensity for making fortuitous discoveries while looking for something unrelated...
cuz even if i hav joind here...i just dnt hav ne polished articles or poems to share...
just ths random thots in ma mind wich i vl be sharing as of now..
n ya dnt trust ma grammer n phrases...m week in it...lol bt ma ideas n wateva thngs m gonna share wont bore u...tht atlist i can promise ...:)
n as d word serendipity says it all m always gona try n discover more n more thngs n vl go on improving in wateva way i could...:)
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