New Year's Leap

We sat there arms around each other, we sat there with our toes dangling in the water below.

We witnessed the last sunset together, and embraced the oncoming sunrise with our dreams to follow.

Uddo beach. It’s my favorite place in Goa. The peace and bliss which comes on this beach is indescribable.

The calmness of sea far away, the chirping of birds in nearby bushes, River water flowing swiftly and merging vast sea, the only shack behind with a mild music, Vagator fort visible few hundred meters away to the west, Morjim coastline visible towards the east and the perfect position in between chosen by the sun to go down, into sea. It’s such a heavenly sight. I spent my last new year here and it was inevitable that I was going to spend this year here as well.

The sunset was amazing, so was the atmosphere. The shack owner had gotten few Rajasthani folk singers and dancers for the evening and it felt great relaxing over the bed and listening to some classical Indian folk songs. Rajasthani songs reminded me of certain someone, a friend who if not for her parents restriction would have been here with me enjoying this pleasant sight. (As usual- more on that later :P)

My mind got transferred to my own kind of a trance. Dinner; chit-chatting; meeting old friends, making new ones, I didn’t realize how the night passed by and soon it was 11.

I came to the shore and decided to call the only person I wanted to before the year ended but as usual, destiny always plays its cruel game, there was a network jam and calls weren’t connecting, I couldn’t tell that person that she remained the best person I met this year (and lot more things).

Anyway, so I decided to lie down on the sea bed away from the noise of friends and other party people who had arrived over there. I started thinking about the success and failures of this year. If 2013 was the worst year for me, 2014 was an improvement. I wouldn’t say the best as I suffered quite a few setbacks, my epistolary novel went unpublished despite publishers liking it fully and even discussing marketing. Liverpool – came so close to winning the title, only to slip it up. It was tragic after going so close and yet not achieving those targets. However as they say we should look at the positives and there were many positives to look after. I was contemplating making a few resolutions, I was in a dilemma of its own contemplation, whether I should be making those and whether or not I would be able to follow those. While thinking all this, I didn’t realize when the sleep fairy arrived, poured sand in my eyes and made me sleep.

And then, - baam! There was a dream. I saw a light, a figure, so disruptive but illuminated, like a shining light at the end of the tunnel. It spoke to me.

“You can call me your inner calling, your daydream or just a shining light at the end of the tunnel. Doesn’t matter what you call me.

Resolutions are hard to follow, but still we should end up making them anyway, because they give us a new hope, a new perspective to look at, a new belief, resolutions give us fresh start, a cloud of hope filled with zeal and zest.

You know what your goals are, go after them, and chase your dreams, stamp on all the distractions. Forget about the people from your past, there is a reason they didn’t make it to your present.”

This Goa trip has been more of a necessity, more about finding myself. I needed a break.

I have not had a productive day in terms of what I want to do, but I sure did have lot of moments to cherish.

Roaming on the bike, Riding along the beach roads, stopping on the way and playing football with street kids, scoring a van-Persie style volley.

Attending friends birthday party after so long, wishing each and every one around. It had been a good vacation so far, but I can’t go on living the normal life. I am not born to. When that light spoke to me, for the first time I realized that despite going after the clichéd romantic novel on friendship. I should be writing something which I have always wanted to write, even before I wrote that epistolary novel.

A story about underground hackers and underground hacking. A true revelation about who were they, what happened to them and where are they now. I have always felt that this mystery our country deserves to know. Our people need to know about these unsung heroes who fought day and night. Mostly nights. To avert the major tragedies in cyberspace. The treaty, the pact which almost brought in the third world war. Everything. The prolonged kept huge secrets from normal human beings, they deserve to know. This light has enlightened me and has given me a new found motivation. I will not be specific about my goals or dreams or anything for that matter in this blog post. But, I have found it. I have found what has been lacking. Reality.

Someone came and woke me up just before it was midnight.

The fireworks going around the whole Morjim coastline towards the east and Vagator beach and fort side towards the west illuminated the whole sky as we counted it down for New Year. The hugs and handshakes followed, the smiles were exchanged, fireworks kept bursting, and the flying lanterns were released. Joyous and happy mood of my friends and others around made me nostalgic. I liked the feel of having all smiles surrounding me. It made me feel, well, happy for once.

As we entered 2015, we all friends decided to make a move towards the next destination, a floating restaurant filled with friendly Russians in the middle of the river off the coast of Uddo beach.

We hired a boat which took us to this newly opened floating Restaurant. It was at the point where river meets the sea. It’s an amazing location with Vagator fort one side and Morjim coastline other side. However there was one problem. The water was really shallow and filled with rocks in between. The boat couldn’t take us to the restaurant deck.

The boat guy apologized for the inconvenience; he was surprised to see the water level so low. He told us that during low tide they sometimes carry a ladder but sadly he didn’t have that ladder with him currently as it was suppose to be high tide.

The whole plan was about to get spoiled. The distance from where the boat halted to the deck wasn’t very far but it was risky owing to the rocks in between.

We waited there for 5 minutes, and then Rahul decided to do it. He stood on the edge of boat and jumped off it. The long lanky legs of Rahul helped and he made it without even rolling. Seema followed it, and the enthusiastic her made it as well. The stout and short bubbly Nilesh, who was high already jumped in without thinking and he almost fell on the rocks but luckily Rahul and Seema helped him off. Rachel, Areeb and Alisha followed them and made it safely albeit a little rolling on the deck. Now it was just me and Vishal carrying his huge stature, on the boat. Vishal looked at me, “I am doing it” he said and without thinking twice jumped off the edge of the boat. I didn’t think he will make it but he did, with a huge thud that floating restaurant deck vibrated vigorously. He shouted loudly and all of them celebrated. They all looked at me from the deck and I was stranded on the boat. I looked at their smiling expectant faces waving at me calling me over; I walked till the edge of the boat, my whole year’s life flashed at me for split of second.

It was the year I met a girl I met who instantly got me over the depression of the lost love of last year.

It was the year I got job into the company I wanted and the field I wanted.

It was the year I matured as a person.

But,

It was also the year I wrote a serious epistolary novel which reached the final stage with publisher and went unpublished.

It was the year I started second book and abandoned it.

It was also the year of lot of flings and confusions.

Overall it was a mixed bag of a year for me, and I was scared that this jump may or may not take me to the deck of the floating restaurant. For all I know, I might fall off on the rocks in between and seriously injure myself.

I looked down at the rocks, those were the distractions, and those were like mistakes from my previous year. Those were like my low points, or the people from my past who were pulling me back.

And then I looked ahead and saw the smiling, excited faces of my friends, my future, and the perspective in their eyes, the optimism and belief that I would make it.

“Just take a leap” whispered my heart.

I smiled as I heard the tune of song “prophets” by AC Newman playing in the background. I jumped.

When in air, I felt the burden of my past ease off, the lost love, the flings, the disappointments, and failures, everything shredded behind. I was leaving a chunk of my toxic figments behind. I landed on deck and suddenly felt my shoulders light. The cheering and enthusiasm of my friends surrounded me. The new vibe, New Year, and the new beginning.

We spent the major part of 2015’s first few hours partying hard with the Russians on that floating restaurant until the boat came back at 5 am in the morning and took all of us away.

Nobody spoke a word while on the boat. We all had smiles on our faces. I stood by the railing and felt the early morning sun rays on my body. I felt alive.

It was always going to be a day of resolutions. And at that very moment I made my first.

I am not going to reveal what the resolution is since I feel resolutions are always to be kept secret, within our own selves.

One thing I am sure of though, I am going to write the best chapter of my life on the very first blank page of 2015 J

Happy New Year !!!