We sat there arms
around each other, we sat there with our toes dangling in the water below.
We witnessed the last
sunset together, and embraced the oncoming sunrise with our dreams to follow.
Uddo beach. It’s my favorite place in Goa. The peace and bliss
which comes on this beach is indescribable.
The calmness of sea far away, the chirping of birds in
nearby bushes, River water flowing swiftly and merging vast sea, the only shack
behind with a mild music, Vagator fort visible few hundred meters away to the
west, Morjim coastline visible towards the east and the perfect position in
between chosen by the sun to go down, into sea. It’s such a heavenly sight. I
spent my last new year here and it was inevitable that I was going to spend this
year here as well.
The sunset was amazing, so was the atmosphere. The shack
owner had gotten few Rajasthani folk singers and dancers for the evening and it
felt great relaxing over the bed and listening to some classical Indian folk
songs. Rajasthani songs reminded me of certain someone, a friend who if not for
her parents restriction would have been here with me enjoying this pleasant
sight. (As usual- more on that later :P)
My mind got transferred to my own kind of a trance. Dinner;
chit-chatting; meeting old friends, making new ones, I didn’t realize how the
night passed by and soon it was 11.
I came to the shore and decided to call the only person I
wanted to before the year ended but as usual, destiny always plays its cruel
game, there was a network jam and calls weren’t connecting, I couldn’t tell
that person that she remained the best person I met this year (and lot more
things).
Anyway, so I decided to lie down on the sea bed away from
the noise of friends and other party people who had arrived over there. I
started thinking about the success and failures of this year. If 2013 was the
worst year for me, 2014 was an improvement. I wouldn’t say the best as I
suffered quite a few setbacks, my epistolary novel went unpublished despite
publishers liking it fully and even discussing marketing. Liverpool – came so
close to winning the title, only to slip it up. It was tragic after going so
close and yet not achieving those targets. However as they say we should look
at the positives and there were many positives to look after. I was
contemplating making a few resolutions, I was in a dilemma of its own
contemplation, whether I should be making those and whether or not I would be
able to follow those. While thinking all this, I didn’t realize when the sleep
fairy arrived, poured sand in my eyes and made me sleep.
And then, - baam! There was a dream. I saw a light, a
figure, so disruptive but illuminated, like a shining light at the end of the
tunnel. It spoke to me.
“You can
call me your inner calling, your daydream or just a shining light at the end of
the tunnel. Doesn’t matter what you call me.
Resolutions
are hard to follow, but still we should end up making them anyway, because they
give us a new hope, a new perspective to look at, a new belief, resolutions
give us fresh start, a cloud of hope filled with zeal and zest.
You know
what your goals are, go after them, and chase your dreams, stamp on all the
distractions. Forget about the people from your past, there is a reason they
didn’t make it to your present.”
This Goa trip has been more of a necessity, more about
finding myself. I needed a break.
I have not had a productive day in terms of what I want to
do, but I sure did have lot of moments to cherish.
Roaming on the bike, Riding along the beach roads, stopping
on the way and playing football with street kids, scoring a van-Persie style
volley.
Attending friends birthday party after so long, wishing each
and every one around. It had been a good vacation so far, but I can’t go on
living the normal life. I am not born to. When that light spoke to me, for the
first time I realized that despite going after the clichéd romantic novel on
friendship. I should be writing something which I have always wanted to write,
even before I wrote that epistolary novel.
A story about underground hackers and underground hacking. A
true revelation about who were they, what happened to them and where are they
now. I have always felt that this mystery our country deserves to know. Our
people need to know about these unsung heroes who fought day and night. Mostly
nights. To avert the major tragedies in cyberspace. The treaty, the pact which
almost brought in the third world war. Everything. The prolonged kept huge
secrets from normal human beings, they deserve to know. This light has
enlightened me and has given me a new found motivation. I will not be specific
about my goals or dreams or anything for that matter in this blog post. But, I
have found it. I have found what has been lacking. Reality.
Someone came and woke me up just before it was midnight.
The fireworks going around the whole Morjim coastline
towards the east and Vagator beach and fort side towards the west illuminated
the whole sky as we counted it down for New Year. The hugs and handshakes
followed, the smiles were exchanged, fireworks kept bursting, and the flying
lanterns were released. Joyous and happy mood of my friends and others around
made me nostalgic. I liked the feel of having all smiles surrounding me. It
made me feel, well, happy for once.
As we entered 2015, we all friends decided to make a move
towards the next destination, a floating restaurant filled with friendly
Russians in the middle of the river off the coast of Uddo beach.
We hired a boat which took us to this newly opened floating Restaurant.
It was at the point where river meets the sea. It’s an amazing location with
Vagator fort one side and Morjim coastline other side. However there was one
problem. The water was really shallow and filled with rocks in between. The
boat couldn’t take us to the restaurant deck.
The boat guy apologized for the inconvenience; he was
surprised to see the water level so low. He told us that during low tide they sometimes
carry a ladder but sadly he didn’t have that ladder with him currently as it
was suppose to be high tide.
The whole plan was about to get spoiled. The distance from
where the boat halted to the deck wasn’t very far but it was risky owing to the
rocks in between.
We waited there for 5 minutes, and then Rahul decided to do
it. He stood on the edge of boat and jumped off it. The long lanky legs of
Rahul helped and he made it without even rolling. Seema followed it, and the
enthusiastic her made it as well. The stout and short bubbly Nilesh, who was
high already jumped in without thinking and he almost fell on the rocks but
luckily Rahul and Seema helped him off. Rachel, Areeb and Alisha followed them
and made it safely albeit a little rolling on the deck. Now it was just me and
Vishal carrying his huge stature, on the boat. Vishal looked at me, “I am doing
it” he said and without thinking twice jumped off the edge of the boat. I
didn’t think he will make it but he did, with a huge thud that floating
restaurant deck vibrated vigorously. He shouted loudly and all of them
celebrated. They all looked at me from the deck and I was stranded on the boat.
I looked at their smiling expectant faces waving at me calling me over; I
walked till the edge of the boat, my whole year’s life flashed at me for split
of second.
It was the year I met a girl I met who instantly got me over
the depression of the lost love of last year.
It was the year I got job into the company I wanted and the
field I wanted.
It was the year I matured as a person.
But,
It was also the year I wrote a serious epistolary novel
which reached the final stage with publisher and went unpublished.
It was the year I started second book and abandoned it.
It was also the year of lot of flings and confusions.
Overall it was a mixed bag of a year for me, and I was
scared that this jump may or may not take me to the deck of the floating
restaurant. For all I know, I might fall off on the rocks in between and
seriously injure myself.
I looked down at the rocks, those were the distractions, and
those were like mistakes from my previous year. Those were like my low points,
or the people from my past who were pulling me back.
And then I looked ahead and saw the smiling, excited faces
of my friends, my future, and the perspective in their eyes, the optimism and
belief that I would make it.
“Just take a leap” whispered my heart.
I smiled as I heard the tune of song “prophets” by AC Newman
playing in the background. I jumped.
When in air, I felt the burden of my past ease off, the lost
love, the flings, the disappointments, and failures, everything shredded
behind. I was leaving a chunk of my toxic figments behind. I landed on deck and
suddenly felt my shoulders light. The cheering and enthusiasm of my friends
surrounded me. The new vibe, New Year, and the new beginning.
We spent the major part of 2015’s first few hours partying
hard with the Russians on that floating restaurant until the boat came back at
5 am in the morning and took all of us away.
Nobody spoke a word while on the boat. We all had smiles on
our faces. I stood by the railing and felt the early morning sun rays on my
body. I felt alive.
It was always going to be a day of resolutions. And at that
very moment I made my first.
I am not going to reveal what the resolution is since I feel
resolutions are always to be kept secret, within our own selves.
One thing I am sure of though, I am going to write the best
chapter of my life on the very first blank page of 2015 J
Happy New Year !!!
