Last year; this day, i wrote for a few close friends, prior to that i wrote for my parents. There have always been special people for whom i wrote on this special occasion of friendship day, but there was never a special someone for whom i could dedicated-ly write one post for.
So, it was no wonder that as soon as i sat there in front of my lappy thinking of writing a friendship day poem, my thoughts were inclined on missing someone. To think of it, some gave up on me; some i gave up on. The list was long, nostalgia was too much to handle, “Don’t go in past, don’t call up past” kept shouting my brain. “Give a try, there is more to you, dont be a cold hearted basterd” whispered my heart.
Scrolling through my whatsapp contacts i found familiar names, some without display pics, those who blocked me for different reasons, Am i such a jerk? I found asking myself. Isnt being honest about your feelings the right way to go about love? Some needed lifelong commitments without even being together for a month, some needed me to be with them 24x7, some started with friends with benefits and got so close, there were less benefits/friendships and more emotional fights, some disappeared without trace, some found someone better, some left for no apparent reason; i tried and i failed, but atleast i tried.
Loneliness, the feeling which can make or break your life, make- in a way it prepares you for a span of solitude and sometimes solitude can be bliss, break- it cripples you, depression followed by pangs of anxiety, havent felt that for longer periods since i have moved to pune though and that is a positive.
But tonight, it was different, tonight it was her presence that came like a freshly anticipated smell of mud, like a blossoming flower; like a shining light.
It was an unexpected surprise, i didn’t expect her to be here , it was just a random joke we played and in that joke i found herself seeking reality, I did not remember leaving the door open, i just remembered shutting of the other bedroom’s door, my roomie was long asleep, I had lost the track of time as i got a ring from her waiting outside.
Next thing i knew, we; out on streets in drizzly rain, chasing light, racing against the time to find closest CCD open, and our luck would have it, we reached just on time, for their last order, A coffee and long ride in cold drizzly rain later, we found ourselves back in my apartment, she wore my black jacket and she looked absolutely gorgeous in it.
“write something for me” she smiled. Behind her smile i saw her eyes twinkling, her dark black hair smooth, let loose; shine through the dim light in my bedroom.
“I can’t” whispering back, i shied away from the obvious excitement.
“Tonight, i will help you write” she winked. I slapped myself twice to make me believe i wasnt dreaming. I werent.
And so for the next half an hour we found ourselves sitting across each other, in dim light, with me in front of my lappy, backlit keyboard lit to make keys visible, and she sitting in front , opposite end of my writing table resting her chin on a small bridge like structure she had made using her hands and interwined fingers, a bridge i wouldn’t mind riding on. My writing-concentration had really been challenged and it was hard to focus down on laptop keys with she across, especially when her toe kept exploring and fidgiting with my ankles and toes.
It was only then that i noticed what she had worn, a black tank top, covered with my black jacket, the black kohl in her crystal clean eyes spoke volumes of her beauty, the slender shoulder and thin nose had me hooked throughout. The lust in her eyes and luscious lips craved for something more than just my writing.
It was inevitable that i shut laptop after writing just one word.
“pulchritudinous” i spoke softly and she had a wicked smile forming on her face.
“just one word?”
“its the longest word in english dictionary meaning beautiful” I replied.
I could see her smile turning into a wide grin, our faces moved towards each other almost telepathically. Closing our eyes, we kissed for just about 30 seconds, Yeah, i am the guy that keeps time of about everything. We laughed while seated at the table looking into ech other’s eyes. Her cold lips tasted of warm coffee and sugar, lots n lots of sugar.
“Happy friendship day” She whispered, looking at the watch. It was 1 am, “Sorry for the late wishes” she winked.
“Oh! So that kiss was a friendly-kiss?” I asked and spotted her blushing.
“yeah, i was just burning my calories” she winked.
“oh! So what am I? Your calorie burning machine?” to which she nodded so cutely that i wanted to kiss her again. She sensed the feeling and put her finger on my lips shaking her head slowly in the process making tiny eyes, anticipatory smile on her face. “patience my lion”
She continued. “Tonight, we will just talk, you say one thing, i will say another....”
“ And who knows maybe next thing we know, we would want to spend the rest of our lives in the middle of that conversation” I quipped in and saw her face lit up. She looked like a Van gough painting, A starry night.
We both complained of not being sleepy and out we went, in balcony, the drizzly rain was turning into a more thunderous shower;I knew she is afraid of lightening and was hoping it strikes frightening her in the process ; resulting in me getting a hug, but universe is a bitch, it just kept raining heavily, thick droplets hitting our faces, she complaining of neck pain and me giving her a tantric neck massage i learned during my one month in vipasana. That seemed to sooth her down as we sat there in balcony and spoke about life and philosophies, talking philosophy, Game of thrones , and playing game of wits has always been our forte.
Back in the bedroom we watched F.R.I.E.N.D s episodes on repeat, that was our small little way of celebrating the whole “friendship night” thing.
It was 3.30 am. “I am hungry” she complained. A small tip for guys, you might not get to hear those 3 letter words “i love u” from your special friend often, but you will definitely get to hear these 3 words “I am hungry”, it can come out of a girl’s mouth anytime anywhere, so always be prepared.
I had few apples, we went out in the kitchen and she got a first bite of one apple, that made her lips look even more sweet, her white teeth shining in the dark.
And that was it, that was the moment, a second kiss was waiting, i remember she telling me about her kitchen fetish, and as soon as she was done with another large bite of apple; i turned her around , made her sit on kitchen shelf, holding her face in my palm, i kissed fiercely, she reacted even more roughly, almost biting my lower lip in the process, i could sense a drop of blood falling on my tshirt collar; realizing her fiery i decided to lower my head onto her neck, sliding her tshirt and bra strap down my lips dug beneath her face onto her neck. Dragging my lips from her neck to her earlobe and biting it softly i whispered “ Do you know I am a vampire?” “uh-huh” she moaned.
“I dont bite to sip blood, i just bite softly” I cracked my lame sentence which didnt come out right ; neverthless giving her hicky in the process, my love bites marked my territory all over her neck and further below.
She had me pinned and locked my hips with her legs; i had my nose on hers and my lips exploring her innately beautiful face.
“shouldnt we take this inside?” she whispered as soon as we heard noise coming from other bedroom.
What happened next was something which is beyond the scope of any blog i am writing or i will ever write and a gentleman never discusses his bedroom life anyway.
All i remember next is waking at 7 am, with she in my arms; her warm breath over my neck ; her head rested on my left hand which was numb, a thought to shift her head a little, crossed my mind, but i chucked it, lest she wakes up.
_________________________________________________________________________________
I wake up again, its 12 and there is no-one hugging me, just a formulation of my blanket, If blankets ever had faces it would be “wtf dude” kind of face right now, i feel embarrassed, quickly i come out of room and check out the other bedroom, my roomie happily snoring, i find myself at the kitchen table.
I find no one in bathroom or balcony, kitchen. She is gone, or so i hope, perhaps she was never here, was i dreaming? Have i been smoking a lot of this crazy stuff which my friend gave me from goa?
No no , i didn’t even touch it.
My jacket is on the chair, lying lifelessly as if its never been used for days. She kept it back there maybe, before sneaking out. Maybe.
I am brushing looking myself in the mirror and there’s not even a single evidence of lip bite, it healed quickly perhaps, lip cuts do.
I smile at myself, Did it all just happened? Or was i too stoned and delusional. I always wanted to write one novel with an ambiguous ending, So maybe i got a dream of it. what kind of sorcery is this? I laugh it off.
“were you here last night?” i text her. “Lol, no” she replies with a wink. I dont know what to make of it now.
Surprised and not remembering a thing i end up writing a story on my blog, a story about a single guy describing his weirdly erotic dream (reality?) about which he doesnt remember a thing apparently. I don’t miss that special friend anymore , I have my blog; my friend who is always there for me, a friend who gives me a stage to extrapolate my thoughts; I type out most of the things, it is ofcourse, my story to tell.
The half eaten apple at the dinner table winks at me, it has a different story to tell. ;)
