The Ice Cream Theory...

The ice cream theory.

There have been many proposed theories; in the market, in the world;  theory of everything, theory of Schrodinger cat, Bohr's theory, Niels Theory, etc,
But never has there been ao much talk about a theory called an Ice cream Theory.

Given a capitulation and a thought process to ponder upon, my mind traversed back to the time when this theory actually existed, it still does, its just that people doesn't want to think about it or talk about it. In this male dominant society ( yeah, ofcourse i am male too and i am not feminist) this theory has somewhat lost its purpose, its suggestion and proofs/concepts. Today, however in this blog post, i am going to revise and revitalize it.

The Ice cream Theory, it was proposed in the early 21st century by a scientist named Abhishchandra Mukherji,  A horny Bengali chap who was jealous of his fellow horny Maharasthrian.

According to this theory "Any individual - male/female who has not tasted ice cream ever will continue chasing it till the time his/her tongue is satisfied"
Its a simple statement of intent. But Mr. Mukherjee used a lot of hypothesis. for example
An ice cream can be hypothetically considered a female (Any female)

Using various theorems and equations, putting all his efforts on blackboard and watching  lot of porn  (quite a lot actually) he finally found an answer to the conundrum which was eating his brain out.
The assumptions were all valid and the correlations were verified intently. The coefficients and constants used were well defined.

He somehow managed to relate his friend, a bald guy with sultry look on his face to the coefficient zero raised to the power x.  where in he called his friend a zero and the power x was the filth on his mind. like how zero kept chasing the infinity loop, this friend of his kept chasing girls out there.

Recently, I got a chance to meet up with Mr. Mukherjee and he opened up like never before.
On asking about the name "Ice cream theory" he laughed, he had a funny laugh, the kind of laugh which reminds you of Baghira from the movie Jungle book.

"Well, those days when any ice cream guy used to visit our locality, kids ran towards him and so ran this friend of mine, while everyone else got their ice cream, this guy kept licking his lips and almost everytime he fell short of something, he didnt realise what was that something, it could be the way he looked at ice cream guy, those lusty eyes of his, those weird jokes of his or those disrespectful sarcastic comments of his, and persuing tactics of his"

I looked at Mr. Mukherjee and he was lost in his memoirs, looking at ceiling and trying to recollect something. I did not disturb his thought process , after thinking for a while he blurted out again.
"And then the same thing continued when he was in college and when he was working in a corporate firm as an employee" said mukherjee.

"The lecherous comments on girls, the supposedly cool "dp's" of him, saying to fellow guys that 'she has a huge rack' that one has huge assets' , it all disgusted his colleagues and still they put up with him. rumors spread though. the look, the way of talking, the sarcastic cheap comments, the weird way of pursuing all girls, every girl, it all converged to the point where every girl started hating him, when its concerned with ladies, the word travels faster"

I nodded as Mukherjee continued.

"He was like a kid, chasing the girls like ice creams, licking out at every ice cream he came across, running after every ice cream guy there was, chasing every butterfly in his town , yet somehow he thought himself as "cool" and "handsome" , somehow he felt confident to chase every damn girl in his office, yet he remained single" Mukherjee coughed a little after saying that. he is an old guy, he must be given a genius of the century award for his innovative proposition, yet he remains here, rotten in his bed.

I offered him some water and thanked him for running down his memory tunnel for me. He smiled at me as we bid adios.

Reflecting on this theory i could only pay homage to this great man, for going out of box and proving something so realistic that can be used by normal humans in practicality.

Rather than putting an animal into the box and making an equation out of it, or playing with alphabets and symbols.  But as it always happens, great men remain undiscovered and their potential and importance only realized when they pass away.

Its true in a way, if you respect a girl and an ice cream and understand its true flavor and genuinely like one flavor, god will bend heavens to get that ice cream for you or unite that girl with you.
But if you keep licking everyone's ice cream or be like a wolf after grapes, you end up being an ice cream less guy, and god!! that sucks, especially in this heat ;)