i thought i had no feelings, but i was wrong...she was right all the way along...this creepy feeling of being lonely is so suffocating, i feel as if i am lying in bottomless abyss, floating with a heavy head, so full of thoughts and numerous thoughts leading to various assumptions each reaching its dead-end.
i never felt this before but why am i feeling so low today?, the day i expected and prepared myself to sleep early, this night is eating hell out of me, creeping me out, head feeling heavy, heart feeling hollow, i have become numb, loneliness is covering me up with this dark shadow and i am feeling helpless...
may be i never gave it a thought, maybe i thought this all to be my own fantasies and i would control them all. but right now i feel i am into her fantasies and that i have been controlled by her.
i should have listened to my dark passenger and the code which kept saying throughout that i am going in the wrong direction and that i am fading away..
i feel its too late to control this urge now, after all it has proved that i am still human after all, and that i am in the realm of her bliss and my own dark passenger which kept my "secrety" life intact and kept me cool and calm has finally abandoned me and yet again i say i feel numb, just a day after i tweeted "i feel alive"...